Hello.

Today is such a SCREWED UP day. Everything went wrong. There was mass run today, which today happens to be a i-don't-feel-like-running day for me. Then after that I realized we're having PE today instead of Thursday due to the new change in timetable. & that just spells trouble. That's because we're going to have our NAFA and I suck at NAFA. I can do 2.4 perfectly well, but my 5 items just suck. Like totally suck. I mean I can do sit-ups yup. That's like the only thing I can do properly other than the not so good sit & reach. But then, my PULL-UPS & STANDING BROAD JUMP & SHUTTLE RUN just totally SUCKS. I can't do pull-ups for nuts and that's for real. Not like when some people say oh nono I'm going to fail because I can't jump or when they say oh I can even do one pull-up. That's all rubbish case they have not even seen me. My passing for standing broad jump is 135 or something like that but what can I jump? 120. WOW. And how many pull-ups can I do? NONE. NOT EVEN A SINGLE ONE. I'm such a failure. I told myself I had to do this I can at least do one. After one whole year still I get ZERO FOR PULL-UPS. Well, it's not as if I didn't do anything about it. I bought weights and try doing them. I try to do push-ups as well but I still can't do any pull-ups. I tried doing 100 sit ups a day since a few weeks ago but had to stop these few days cause of too much homework and other things but at least I didn't stop totally. I'm like doing 20 a day now. I go for runs during weekends with my mum at Bishan park which is like 3.3 km. Well I know I don't run that every week but still we have mass runs twice a week. I'm at least doing something to at least improve in my fitness. I admit I'm such a lazy ass that finds even bathing a chore. But I'm doing something. My arm power sucks and I still keep trying but nothing works. I don't care about running because I have stamina I can run but pull-ups I just can't. It's just like last year. I got 20 points but got a NIL. Why? That's because I can't even do a single pull-up and failed the whole test just because I failed my pull-ups. I know 20 points is not a lot but to me, cause I'm some fat lazy ass , 20 points is a lot. I mean I cannot even get above 15 points in primary school and getting 20 points to me, is like WOW. But still, in primary school at least I can get a bronze, but now, it's a NIL. I tried all sorts of methods to motivate myself and even set a target that I have to get a sliver this time round, or at least a bronze. But now, I only have 3 more weeks till re-test. I kept thinking about Fahrenheit too. But this time sadly it didn't work. I always play FRH songs when I'm doing my 100 sit-ups. And even when I'm running I think of FRH to motivate me. Just before my turn today, I told myself that I could do this, that I would do this for FRH, but in the end I hung there for so long trying to pull myself up but to no avail. You people had no idea what that feeling was. It was like I lost all hopes. I didn't reach my goal; I let FRH down, let myself down, let everybody down. I could not control my feelings any longer and just felt like crying. … I didn't know what to do. After one whole year, it was just the same. To jose. I don't cry for no damn reason ok? I cried because I'm so disappointed in myself. But whatever, I feel so crap. I just could not stop. But I really thank these people for making me feel better. You people really cheered me up.

Beverly – for motivating me saying do it for FRH! ( it really wasn't your fault I cried )

Joey – for being there and making me feel better with her evil laughter.

Mrs. Heng – for cheering me up, holding my hand and swinging it like a little kid, telling me its all ok.

Jose. – for not saying anything.

ZiQi – for telling me jokes and about the Liar Game. I didn't really understand what you said but you had made me laugh so much. Thank you.

Wanyu – for not stealing my musli bar.

Jie'R – for comforting me with your hug and understanding.

Belinda – for asking me to stop crying.

Janice – for comforting me.

Fahrenheit – for "giving me moral support "

A Chord – for singing 够爱 as I'm listening to it now and I feel much better.

Everyone else who comforted me.

Today's home economics was another screwed up thing. If you read my previous post you'll realized that I did not even realize that the test was today until yesterday. & I have no idea how to do ANYTHING. Like seriously anything. I don't even know how to use the damn oven. So Jose had to but all my ingredients for me. But in the end came with only a pack of strawberries and baby kiwis. And everyone else was like where are your ingredients? And so I had a whole tutorial from Jose on how to do EVERYTHING. And she just came up with a recipe herself for me. WOW. Anyway, it was so crappy. Jose was outside the room like every now and then the make sure I was doing the right thing. It turned out like I don't know how you describe it, well it looked ok. But taste-wise, well I don't know what to say. I totally didn't know what to do as the recipe which Jose came up with was a one that take very little time so I was like half an hour ahead or something. I was desperately looking for somebody which I can follow but everyone was not at the step I was at and when I was suppose to put my thingy into the oven, no one else was even looking at the oven and so I was worried that I missed out like tons of stuff. & oh Jose forgot to bring nutella so we were thinking of buying hello panda and breaking it apart and using the chocolate inside but it was sold out and so I used chocolate powder from Adele. It was so weird. But anyway I was finally over and done with, with home econs.

Then we had assembly talk by some people from Disney channel. They were advertising about this new show called as the bell rings but you have to be a starhub subscriber to be able to watch it on your phone which is the only way to watch the series. But, I'm not even a starhub subscriber in the first place. But whatever, I'm damn tired now. Anyway, LeeJunKi birthday is coming up (17 April) Yay, 17. My favorite number. & the forum has not decided on what to do for him yet. A Chord's forum's birthday plans has already been in the planning since ages ago. But sadly, I'm not participating; I'm not that crazy over him anyway, I just admire him a lot for his singing and acting skills. He can like rap damn well. His singing is much better than FRH anyway; I'm not saying FRH's singing is really bad. I'm just saying its not really good but what I like is that they worked hard and have improved so much since they first started.

Anyway, I promise to dedicate one post to ZiQi. So this is it.

You were the one who really cheered me up. You said something I didn't understand but it really cheered me up. I didn't know why but it just did. You have some power to make people laugh. J & I really love the Liar Game. Thanks for introducing me to that show. It's a really clever show. J I don't know what else to say here. Anyway, I really appreciate you for being there to cheer me up as well as being there as such a great and humorous friend. & oh who says the burned version of your home econs stuff taste nicer? Don't throw your pastries into the oven to bake it further when you get home next time ok? Don't do that just because you're so frustrated. Haha. I have such a weird friend. But I'm happy to have you as a friend.

"I wish for shorter hands and a lighter body."